


nightmare

by slowdanciing



Category: IDENTITY V, 第五人格 | Identity V (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Crushes, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Kinda, Pining, Sharing a Bed, ig, omg, there was only one bed..., tracy has it Bad, why is this so hard to tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-19
Updated: 2021-01-19
Packaged: 2021-03-18 08:15:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,056
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28863909
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/slowdanciing/pseuds/slowdanciing
Summary: tracy makes a mistake that reminds her of something she'd rather forget.
Relationships: Helena Adams | The Mind's Eye/Tracy Reznik | Mechanic
Comments: 6
Kudos: 27





	nightmare

**Author's Note:**

> cw// mentions of fire, mentions of character death, light cursing

tracy paced back and forth in her workshop, a mug in one hand and a stack of papers in her other. tracy typically wasn’t one to stay up  _ too _ late, but earlier that day, she made a small mistake thats been itching at the back of her mind all day.

dont get me wrong, tracy made little mistakes every now and then all the time! even geniuses had faults in their work every now and then. but what seemed like such a small mistake that has happened countless times before just set something off in her that triggered some memories she had hoped to forget. 

…

_ young tracy rushed out of her and her fathers shared workshop after a loud explosion, her goggles clutched in one hand and the parts of her bot she had been working on in the other. she looked back behind her to see if her dad was following her, but all she was faced with was her childhood home in flames and destroyed and her father no where in sight. her ears rang and she felt a tear drip down her cheek as she ran for help, knowing it was useless. _

_ he was gone. her father was gone. _

…

she set her mug and papers down onto her cluttered work desk, feeling her eyes well up with tears.  _ why was she even crying? _ it was just a small mishap that led to a small fire, tiny enough to not even set off any smoke alarms or alert anyone else in the manor. hell, it didn’t even ruin any of the projects she was working on or the scattered tools and papers on her desk! 

she shouldn’t be crying,  _ she really shouldn’t be crying, _ but starting yet another tiny fire just reminded them of the last time she accidentally made a tiny mistake. but instead of just a small fire, she ended up killing her father. 

hell, she wasn’t even the one that made the explosion! but yet- she couldn’t help but blame herself for what had happened. but she was a  _ coward _ and let her father  _ die. _

tracy squeezed her eyes shut, letting her back slide down the wall by her work bench and bringing her knees up to her chest. all she wanted was to lay down and try and get some sleep, but everytime she closes her eyes, all she can see is her home on fire and all she can hear is an explosion and her fathers muffled screams followed by silence and all she can feel is  _ miserable.  _

she ripped her goggles and hat off of her head and let them fall to the floor, not caring that her short hair was messed up or that her fingerless gloves were soaked with tears. 

“cmon, tracy, pull yourself together,” she muttered, trying her hardest to ground herself. “you’re a mess, and now you’re talking to yourself again. great.”

tracy leaned her head against the wall, wiping at her cheeks. she honestly felt like she could fall asleep right there, slumped against the wall and holding her arms close around her body, but getting a tiny bit of sleep only to be awoken by a nightmare was worse than getting no sleep at all.

so she wiped her eyes again and ran a hand throw her short, messy hair before standing up and grabbing her desk for support. as she stood up, she knocked into a helmet she had hanging on the wall and it fell to the ground with a loud crash. she jumped before grabbing the helmet and forcibly shoving it back onto its hook on the wall with exhaustion and frustration stinging her eyes again. 

tracy went to grab her goggles and hung them around her neck, but before she could bury herself in her work again, she heard the door to the room open followed by a soft tap of a cane landing on the tile.

“tracy?” helena called from the doorway, a cup of tea in one hand and her cane in the other. “what are you doing up so late? what was that crash?”

tracy quickly ran a hand through her hair again, looking towards the door with an awkward smile and wet cheeks. “i could ask the same to you, too,” she replied simply with a shaky voice, placing the papers she had picked up down again. 

“i was up late writing, and i wanted to get some tea before i went to bed… were you crying?” 

she wiped at her cheeks again (before remembering helena probably couldn’t see her tears and awkwardly lowering her hand). “yeah, but i’m fine now! what time is it?” tracy asked, quickly trying to change the subject.

“late enough for you to be in bed. asleep,” helena replied with an unamused expression. 

“helena…”

“it’s about three in the morning.”

“oh.”

there was a brief pause before helena got back on topic. “so why were you crying?”

tracy cursed under her breath, half hoping that helena would just move on and forget tracy was crying and leave her to work herself thin. “i was just… frustrated. i’m just tired and i keep making mistakes today and it doesn’t seem like that big of a deal but it just… seems like such more of a big deal when you’re exhausted.

“you really should just get some rest, then,” helena started, hands playing with the hem of her jacket. 

tracy pursed her lips before letting out a soft, barely audible whimper. “i can’t, helena. i can’t just “get some rest”. i can’t bear seeing the same nightmares every night anymore- i’ve tried everything- meditating, tea, getting sleeping medication from emily, but nothing works. and- and i started a small fire earlier and it shouldn’t have made me this upset but i just cant stop thinking about the accident and i just. i just cant.”

helena’s lips turned down into a soft frown, presumably in thought. “you can’t avoid sleeping as if that will make remembering it any easier,” she finally decided on saying, placing her teacup down onto tracys desk and taking a seat in the chair beside it. tracy stayed leaned against the wall, her face deeply knit into a frown. “sleep deprivation will probably make it worse, actually.”

tracy sniffled, wiping at her nose with the back of her gloved hand. “its not like i  _ want _ to stay awake. all i want to do is lay down and get some sleep, but i… its so hard trying to go to sleep with the reminder ill wake up soon after because of a damn nightmare.” 

“then come sleep in my room tonight,” helena offered, reaching for her tea and taking a sip.

“oh, you- you really don’t have to do that!” tracy said quickly, looking away from helena. there was a soft blush rising on her cheeks. “i’ll try to get some rest, you don’t have to-”

“i insist, if you’re comfortable with it at least. i trust you enough, and id hope that you do too... the least i could do is be there for you.” helena turned her head away, her cheeks also twinging with heat.

tracy cleared her throat before responding. “of course i trust you, helena! i’ll… go get changed, then.”

“i’ll be in my room,” helena finally said, standing before grabbing her half empty cup of tea and quickly exiting tracys workshop.

…

tracy changed into her night clothes quickly in her room, trying hard not to think about what she had just gotten herself into. 

_ agreeing to sleep with helena? are you insane, tracy??  _ she thought, before feeling her face flush and quickly mentally correcting herself.  _ sleeping in the same bed, of course! not-  _

she quickly cut off her train of thought by roughly pulling a shirt over her head and shoving a headband in her short and messy hair. 

tracy took a quick look in her mirror, softly frowning at how puffy her eyes were from crying before exiting her room and starting down the hall to helenas room. she honestly wasnt quite sure how to feel about helenas offer- on one hand, it felt  _ so  _ nice to have someone there and comfort her in a way she hasnt had in so long. but on the other hand, tracys more-than-obvious attraction (infatuation? crush?) for the other girl was so blatantly obvious that the last thing she wanted to do was take advantage of her (which she wouldnt ever want to do that, but what if she did?).

she rubbed at her cheek as she continued to walk down the hall. of course she wouldn’t be taking advantage of her! helena was the one to suggest tracy staying in her room that night anyways! tracy sighed as she approached helenas room and took a second to mentally prepare herself before gently knocking on the other girls door.

a soft “come in,” called from the other side of the door and tracy sheepishly let herself in, softly shutting the door behind her.

“sorry for intruding so late,” tracy mumbled, standing awkwardly by the entrance to the shorter girls room. 

helena looked up from where she had been sitting on the edge of her bed, shifting until she was under her comforter and staring at the girl in the doorway expectantly. “i wouldn’t have offered it if i didn’t want you around, trace. and you don’t have to stand awkwardly at my door, come here.”

tracys face flushed before she hesitantly laid down next to helena in her bed, curling up under the blanket and facing the girl in front of her with a soft smile. "you don't have to worry about me like this, you know,” the blonde started after a moment of silence. “i would have been fine."

"yes i do. you wouldn't take care of yourself if you didn't have someone to remind you to," she responded with a knowing smirk. 

"hey! i'm... kinda decent at self care."

"sure."

"helena...!"

she barely suppressed a giggle, "okay, fine, fine! you're... ok at self care. i suppose."

"you didn't sound too convinced!"

"thats because im not. i was lying."

they both paused before bursting into quiet laughter, tracy letting her head lean back into the pillow and helena covering her mouth with her hand.

“i’m gonna stop pushing for you to admit im okay at taking care of myself because i’m not so sure i want my feelings hurt again,” tracy joked in between laughs, running her hand through her short hair.

“that’s probably for the best,” helena replied, curling up the tiniest bit closer to tracy with a content smile. “anyways, it’s late. you need to get some sleep and i’m not sure about you, but i’m exhausted.”

tracy nodded, leaning back and turning off the lamp. when she curled back up next to the shorter girl, she could feel her soft breath tickling her nose. “yeah, i’m… extremely tired,” she responded after a moment, rubbing at her eyes. “i havent really slept since a few days ago.”

“tracy…” helena trailed off, a soft frown on her face. she was laying with her eyes closed and her hair sprawled out against her pillow (and tracy couldnt help but think of how pretty she looked laying in front of her). “you should have come to me sooner. i gladly would have stayed with you.”

she shrugged in response, curling up on herself a little more. “im not sure why i didnt. im just used to having to be independent, i guess.”

“you can ask for help and still be independent,” helena started. “i used to be like that, you know.”

“really?”

“yeah. but i learned that you can ask for help without being weak and dependent on someone.” 

tracy hummed, letting herself stare at helena for a little while longer before shutting her eyes. “... thank you, helena. i really, really appreciate it.” she opened her mouth to say something else, but her unspoken words just choked up her throat.

“of course. now get some sleep. i’m here if you need me.” helena pulled off her glasses and placed them on the night stand behind her.

tracy nodded, not sure what else to say besides another quiet “thank you” before she settled into the sheets and comfortable silence surrounded the two as they both slowly drifted off.

**Author's Note:**

> hiii ty for reading!! there isn't much in the heletracy tag and theyre a huge comfort of mine so i decided to contribute a little bit,,,
> 
> kudos and comments r highly appreciated as well! <33


End file.
